Trust-worthy

One of the lowest times in my life was just after my first child was born. It was the middle of winter and I was physically weak after the delivery, so much so I had to put my newborn son in the stroller to move him from the living room to the bedroom because I was afraid I would drop him. Mix that up with a bit of post partum depression and I was a bawling basket case.

My fears grew and grew in my mind until it overtook me like a run away train. I was scared I would mess up as a parent. No, that would be a lie. I was very arrogant and as bad as it sounds, reallly, I was scared that my husband would mess up this huge responsibility of parenting. He worked long hours and I was afraid he would not be around enough to be a good parent.

If I could have looked into the future and seen my life today, I would not have had the meltdown that I did. I am blessed with great kids and a husband who still loves me despite my arrogance. Nothing really changed after I calmed down that night. We still struggled through my husband's long hours of work and parenting was still a struggle. But God gives His children what is good.

If I could go back and comfort myself, I would tell myself that God is faithful and He is good. He goes with you in the trial. Even though this is not the path you would choose, you will survive and even thrive along this path God has planned for you. Trust in His faithfulness, not your strength or ability. He is trust worthy.

"To love God is to love His will. . . It is to be content with His timing and His wise appointment ( Do I feel my portion is too much of something? Too little of something else? ). It is to follow in the steps of the Master, as Paul did, who was able to say that he learned contentment no matter what the circumstances. His circumstances when he wrote that? Prison." - Elizabeth Elliot.

There are ways and times and places that life wears us to the bone, to tears or to anger. God calls us to take His yoke upon us and learn His gentle and lowly ways and we will find rest in our souls. Peace comes when we find that He is rest-worthy, trust-worthy, even in the place where we do not want to be.