The First Time They Say No

The cross of Christ is not just a philosophical ideal. The cross of Christ is supremely practical. The truth of the cross stands because it can be applied to every aspect of our lives. Keith Green had this great song that gave a beautiful picture of us being stained glass windows. When the light of Truth hits our windows is when we see which areas of our lives do not conform as well to that light. We see darkness and shadows instead. Each of us has areas of darkness and for each that darkness shows up in different areas. As Christians we each struggle, we each fight against what we don’t want to hear.

Parenting is often one of those areas. Parenting for me personally is one of my biggest idols that I struggle with. My brother-in-law is fond of saying, “Never get between a mother bear and her cubs!” Proverbs 17:12 speaks of a fool but also points to this truth: “It is safer to meet a bear robbed of her cubs than to confront a fool caught in folly.” I don’t think I am the only one to realize that having a tender heart toward God in this area is hard for mothers.

One of the most basic truths to come to grips with is that this beautiful, precious child of mine is a sinner. Even before they speak their first word, there will come a moment when they will look you in the eye and you will know that they are saying with all their might “NO!” It is in that moment you have to ask yourself, is there anything the Bible says about this? But we do know, don’t we? “Children obey your parents.” That’s when the second part of this equation kicks in. Not only do we have sinful children but they have sinful parents controlled by their emotions and passions. We don’t want to acknowledge the gauntlet they are throwing down because we feel we don’t have the strength to endure the battle. We don’t. It is easier to listen to worldly philosophy which says what we want to hear – that we don’t have to fight. But at some point we come to realize that listening to what we want to hear has its consequences.  It takes superhuman strength and wisdom to deny ourselves, take up the cross and follow Him in this area. It takes love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control as you lead and guide your child in what is right.

A mother bird knows to wait for the right moment for when her fledgling has the flying feathers grown in before she teaches him to fly. But once ready, she begins to move farther and farther away from the nest when she brings him his food so that he will be forced to fly a small distance in order to be fed. Often the first or second time the little bird will fall as he attempts to get his food but in this way he begins the process of learning to fly. (As mothers, we hate this part.)This is a wonderful picture of the wisdom of God. As mothers and fathers, it is our job to prepare our children to fly at many times in many ways throughout the day. Each challenge that comes to our children is an opportunity to teach them how to handle life. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could be like the birds, know the right timing and see each challenge met with small steps to better help our children fly? Oh that I would have a tender heart to hear what God has to say to me about my children. I need His wisdom so desperately.